Flying back to LA from Dublin, at the end of my one-stop world book tour, the entertainment options are limited to mostly Jason Segel. I Love You, Man (watched on the flight out), Forgetting Sarah Marshall, How I Met Your Mother. When Brendon Walsh and Nick Thune’s now-defunct podcast Do You Know Who Jason Segel Is? posed that question to prank call recipients around America circa 2018, the actor’s name recognition was surprisingly low. If those comedians would have dialed up whoever programs the in-flight, in-seat movies on Aer Lingus, the answer would be a resounding …. (I just googled the Irish language word for “Yes,” and apparently it’s complicated, and there isn’t necessarily a single word for it, so I don’t know exactly what they would say, but in English it would be “Yes.”)
Flipping through the “Classics” tab on the screen, stuck in my cramped seat, lured in by the digital glow, prepared to watch movies for 10 hours until I shit and piss and starve myself of microwaved stew like a character in Infinite Jest, I come across The End of the Tour. I have seen this movie before, when it came out in 2015. But I am a sucker for anything related to writers, writing, Central Illinois, David Foster Wallace, and, “Yes,” Jason Segel.
The End of the Tour is based on Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself, the 2010 book featuring a series of conversations then-Rolling Stone reporter David Lipsky tape-recorded with David Foster Wallace during the final leg of his Infinite Jest book tour in 1996. The book is like a pre-podcast era insight into the minds of both Lipsky and Wallace. It’s the most significant deep-dive available into the head of the latter that a reader can get without inferring the details of his psyche from what DFW revealed, cloaked in fiction and thesaurus-demanding words, on the page. It doubles as an examination of Lipsky’s own complicated emotions and self-perception as a writer and fan of Wallace. When the two writers met for the five-day trip from Normal, Illinois to Minneapolis, Minnesota, Wallace’s Infinite Jest was already being heralded as a literary masterpiece and Lipsky’s novel The Art Fair had relatively modest critical and commercial success. Only one of them was being called a genius, whether or not he agreed with that distinction.
I picked a good time to rewatch the movie adaptation of Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself now because I can relate more deeply with both characters. As much as his style has been imitated, only un-self-aware fools would claim they’re anything like DFW. Infinite Jest elevated him to a canonical status thousands of writers dream of reaching. Like me, however, he was born and grew up in Champaign, Illinois. He loved tennis and writing and suffered from mental health issues. He was, as he claims in the book and film, just a regular Midwestern guy. He understood the glorious necessity of the car ice scraper. He ate Pop Tarts for breakfast. Drank copious amounts of pop.
Although it’s deprived of action or any significant narrative arc, The End of the Tour derives its conflict from the internal struggle of David Lipsky. Like me recently, traveling to another continent to speak about Madlib and MF DOOM—two artists who are geniuses in ways I could never be—Lipsky wants to be a great writer but feels DOOMed to be lesser-than his subject. An excerpt of my book was published in Rolling Stone, a publication Lipsky worked for which also got some bylines from DFW over the years. The film depicts Lipsky getting jealous of Wallace’s phone conversation with his girlfriend, who likes Infinite Jest more than Lipsky’s own book. As much as their relationship feels natural, and moments appear to be candid, the presence of Lipsky’s tape-recorder and miniature notepad emphasize DFW’s attitude toward it all: “this isn’t real.”
Writing about other artists is weird. In the case of the Madvillainy book, it feels exploitative and wrong. Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself came out two years after DFW’s suicide. My book came out three years after DOOM transitioned to the spiritual realm. Hen’s Teeth, the store in Dublin which hosted my book event, invited me out before they read a word. The book found early (relative) success before anyone had read my writing. People pre-ordered it and continue to buy it because they love DOOM and Madlib, not because they appreciate my writing. I have never wanted to be a journalist. I have always wanted to be a “writer,” and valued fiction over non-fiction. I don’t have delusions of being a literary g-word like DFW, but the honest Truth is that I want to write books that approximate the greatness of my favorite writers, like him. I want to create my own worlds like DOOM and Madlib did. Although of course I’ve ended up becoming myself.
In the book, I attempted to acknowledge how anyone who writes a profile of another person is doing it in part out of narcissism. One of the fictional characters who writes the book, The Seen, does so so that audiences—particularly his neglectful father, Dr. Truthaverse—will recognize his talents. I also wanted to write something that had standalone value. I don’t know if I succeeded, but I do know that if you’re reading this newsletter, you probably subscribed because of the book, so I just wanted to contextualize my feelings before attempting to move on from this project and into the future. I’ve been writing for so long that it does feel good to get some validation from random people around the world, even if the only way they came across my writing is because they are DOOM, Madlib, or Stones Throw superfans. I’ve experienced a fraction of the praise DFW did when Infinite Jest came out, but his thoughts on how the newfound attention might affect him are worth revisiting in either The End of the Tour or the book it’s based on. DFW might’ve been a bit of a narcissist, but at least he was self-aware, which is all I can hope for for myself.
On that note, if anyone reading this lives in São Paulo, Tokyo (Japanese translation forthcoming), or any other city around the world that wants to host someone talking about Madvillainy, I’m happy to hop on another flight and watch a Jason Segel movie.
For everyone else, I wanted to write one final thing with some brief thoughts on the whole experience of publishing and promoting the book, along with a promise to work on new stuff which—whether it’s critical writing about artists more talented than me, or fictional work that pales in comparison to my heroes—is at least readable and enjoyable. Also maybe this post will convince you to re-read some Infinite Jest, stop making DFW a meme, or even check out Lipsky’s stuff.
To conclude my digital literary tour, I’ll leave you with some pictures from the Dublin event. Dean Van Nguyen, a fellow POW writer who has an exciting book about Tupac coming out in the future, interviewed me and Mango, an Irish rapper and DJ who has some great songs railing against the Catholic Church, which I can always get on board with. Before those pics are some links about the book in case you missed them. I appreciate everyone reading and subscribing to this newsletter, which will get back to its irregularly scheduled programming now.
LINKS:
Bloomsbury — Madvillain’s Madvillainy 33 1/3 (BUY)
The Ringer — How a Stolen Disc Built the Legend of MF DOOM and Madlib’s ‘Madvillainy’
Rolling Stone — How Madlib and MF DOOM Captured Lightning in a Bottle With ‘Accordion’
Complex — Who is “Allah’s Reflection” and What Does She Have to Do with Madvillain’s ‘Madvillainy’?
Southwest Review — Two of Rap’s Great Oddballs | On Madvillainy (BOOK REVIEW)